The Wolverine Review

The Wolverine is the story of one man’s struggle with having to play the same superhero seven times. The best word to describe this movie is unnecessary. I mean, really ask yourself, did we need another damn solo Wolverine movie? Especially with the long awaited X-men: Days of Future Past coming out next summer? This movie just felt like it was killing time between entries in the series that we actually care about. Complete and total filler bullshit. I wish I could say this movie was hilarious. I mean, I did laugh a lot. Every fight scene was totally silly, and I lost it when Wolverine stuck his hand inside his own chest to rip out the robot thing attached to his heart. I mean, people were staring at me in the theatre cause I was laughing so hard. Not a good sign during a scene where the main character’s about to die. The one positive thing I will say about this movie is that it’s the closest movie Wolverine has ever come to being as badass as comic Wolverine. I liked the tone of the movie, even if the plot and action scenes were kind of dumb. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. This movie was just to hold us over until Days Of Future Past. It’s like if you go to a restaurant, and the food is really good, but the bread kind of sucked. You can’t really complain. And hey, it’s a hell of a lot better that X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Overall Rating: The uncomfortable feeling of seeing Wolverine’s claws get cut off/10


Orange Is The New Black Season 1 Review

When I first heard about this show I thought it looked kind of stupid. The fish out of water white girl ending up with criminals is very been-there, done-that. Admittedly there are a few jokes early on that feel cliche, but this show is definitely original. The tone of the show works really well. It manages to be very funny without ever undermining the seriousness of what the characters are going through. During the first few episodes you’re really put into the shoes of the main character Piper Chapman, adjusting to prison life as she does. The cast is great, there are tons of cool little side characters, an I love how every episode you find out a little more about the main characters past. If you dismissed this show at first, I urge you to give it a chance. And if you don’t have Netflix, get it, cause you’re missing out on some good shit.

Overall Rating: Orange/10

Coffee Town Review

For those of you who don’t know (probably everyone except Dom Hudson) Coffee Town is the first movie from Collegehumor, a sketch comedy website best known for Jake and Amir. It’s about a guy who spends his whole day working on his laptop in a coffee shop (played by Glen Howerton) who ends up having to plan a heist to save the place. The movie was released on demand. You can rent or buy it from itunes, playstation network, xbox live, ect. I rented it on Rogers On Demand. I thought this movie was great. It wasn’t necessarily laugh out loud funny 100% of the time, but I thought all the banter between the three main characters was really funny. Even though the plot may sound elaborate, the majority of the movie is just about these guys shooting the shit around a coffee place, and all the shit that happens to them in an average couple of days. It reminded me a lot of Clerks, and that’s a good thing. The characters are really well developed, and their chemistry with each other is great. My only complaint would be the “fake out” near the end. It felt cliche and forced. Other than that though, I would recommend checking it out, and I’m definitely going pay to download the permanent version.I’m a big Collegehumor fan, and I hope this movie isn’t a one-time deal. I think their site’s been going downhill lately, and movies might be the next logical step for them. I would love to see it blossom into a successful production company over the next couple of years. Until then, I’ll be happy to keep watching weekly Jake and Amirs.

Overall Rating: Surprisingly Good/10

World War Z Review

Ok I’m gonna start this off by saying I didn’t read the book. I have no idea what happened in the book, and therefor have no idea if it coincided with what happened in the movie. But I heard that the movie was very different from the book, so if you’re a big fan of the book maybe don’t go see it. However, if, like me, you’re looking for a movie to see on a Friday night, or are a big zombie fan, this is a good one. It’s one of the most original zombie movies I’ve seen in a while. It breaks away from a lot of conventions by having the government act as good guys, and it’s refreshing not to have it begin post-apocolypse. Now, I won’t spoil the ending, but it’s actually kinda optimistic, which you don’t see a lot of nowadays. What kind of world do we live in where a zombie movie is hopeful and uplifting, and a Superman movie is bleak and depressing? But let’s talk about what I didn’t like. First off, Brad Pitts stupid family. I don’t care about his family. They don’t do anything the whole damn movie. They just exist so Brad Pitt has something to care about. They’re just there to try to force emotion out of you. There’s enough emotion in this movie without the filmmakers shoving Brad Pitts family in your face every ten minutes just to remind you “oh, look he cares about his wife and kids, d’awww….”. Also I felt the dialogue was kind of badly written. I caught several moments when they use the “tell don’t show” rule. But this movies biggest problem is its repetitiveness. The entire movie is one 35 minute long scenario playing out 6 times. The whole thing felt like an N64 game. Level 1: Newark. Objective: Get to Rooftop. Level 2: South Korea. Objective: Get to the Plane. And so on, and so on. A few individual scenes are good, but overall this movie was repetitive and easily forgettable. If you’re looking for something to go see, this isn’t a bad place to spend your money, but I probably wouldn’t ever watch it again.

Overall Rating: 28 Days/10

Fast & Furious 6 Review (RE-ISSUE)

So after watching Fast Five, I was pretty sure this series had hit the ceiling in terms of how ridiculous the action could get. I was so, so wrong. This movie is batshit insane. It makes Fast Five look like (insert super realistic movie). After retiring with billions of dollars at the end of the last one, the team has to come back for one last job. This time they team up with the Rock, and there’s a scene where they all have to fight a tank, which should be enough to make you want to see this movie right there. Also, after being killed off in the fourth movie, Michelle Rodriguez come back with amnesia in this one, because apparently these movies are also soap operas. The final scene also takes involves all these cars chasing a giant plane as it attempts to take off from the longest runway ever. Legit, I crunched the numbers, check it out; so the scene lasts about 13 minutes, and the cars are going pretty fast to keep up with the plane. I’m gonna say at least 150 mph, which means the runway has to be at least 30 miles long. And they never turn or slow down or anything. It’s ridiculous. Anyway, if you love to laugh you should definitely go see this movie, and I can’t wait to see how they’re gonna top this next time.

Overall Rating: Hilarious/10

Fast Five Review (RE-ISSUE)

Almost at the end of my fast & furious marathon, and this one has a stupider title than the fourth movie. The Rock is in Fast Five, and my god is he a terrible actor. I mean, I always thought he sucked, but I guess up until now I had never actually seen him in a movie. Every line he delivers is just so awkward. Luckily, he’s not a very big part of the movie. Fast Five essentially takes the tone and characters that it set up in the last movie and dials up the ridiculous action to 11. It also looks like the last one did well enough at the box office to warrant a much bigger budget on this one, because almost all the car stuff is practical and looks great. This time around the characters are on the run, and the only way to get enough money to disappear from the law is to pull one last job. So they watch Ocean’s Eleven too many times and decide to assemble a team of every side character from the last four movies, which means we get the amazing comedic duo of Tyrese and Ludicris back from the second movie. Meanwhile, the Rock is an FBI agent hot on Vin Diesel’s trail. And if you don’t think the Rock fighting Vin Diesel is fucking epic then get the hell off my website. It’s weird that it took five movies to establish a consistent tone, but it looks like these movies finally know what they are; big, dumb, ridiculous, over the top action that knows exactly how not to take itself seriously. I would almost call these movies action comedies. This sort of feels like what the Expendables movies should be. It’s a bunch of huge muscly dudes hitting each other and driving fast cars, except the action set pieces are actually unique and the sequences are actually well shot. This movie is really really goddamn fun.

Overall Rating: Ocean’s Eleven/10