It finally happened. After five sequels, one meta-sequel, and a crossover movie, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was finally dead. And what does hollywood do nowadays when a movie franchise dies? Fucking reboots it, of course. And so not even a full decade after Freddy Vs. Jason, we have this crap. This movie had a lot of potential. A chance to take the series back to a simpler place. After all the over-explanation of the last few sequels it was great to see Freddy just killing kids in their sleep again. Another spark of brilliance was to incorporate the idea of dreaming while awake. As the kids stay up longer, they start to become delirious and Freddy can start to attack them without having to catch them asleep. That alone would have made for a really good movie. Unfortunately, the idea is underdeveloped and has no real payoff. The movie ends up being a generic blur of CGI blood and bad acting. But my biggest complaint of all is the re-imagining of Freddy Krueger. One of the most iconic characters in horror history, known for his burnt face, clawed glove, and sick sense of humour. In this movie not only is the makeup terrible (seriously, his face looks like melted cheese) but he lacks all of the charm of the original. I guess Freddy just isn’t Freddy without Robert Englund. But my complaints go beyond that. The established mythology of Freddy’s origin is that he was a child murderer when he was alive, and the parents in the town got together to kill him. It’s the same in this movie; except that the word murderer is swapped for rapist. Yeah, Freddy was a huge pedo. And now he’s come back from the dead to kill the kids who told their parents about all the butt fun. Kind of puts a weird spin on things, doesn’t it? In fact, the climax of the movie involves Freddy literally trying to rape Nancy in her sleep. He even uses the line “I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy” which was funny in the original, but not so much here. I can’t really say a lot more without going into every single thing I hated about it, but if the idea of Freddy Krueger diddling kids isn’t enough to make you steer clear of this movie that nothing I say will be. Not the worst horror remake ever (cough, Rob Zombie’s Halloween, cough) but definitely not one worth seeing.
Overall Rating: Rapey/10