Ok so it’s gonna be hard for me to review this movie because I was kind of drunk while watching it. I had actually heard that it wasn’t that funny, so me and my friend decided it might be better if we snuck some beers in to the theatre. And I gotta admit, after my second or third tall boy I thought this movie was pretty hilarious. But I also thought that 7/11 taquitos were really good, so I wasn’t exactly the best judge of quality. I honestly don’t know how good this movie is sober, but what I can say is that if you want to grab a few buddies and a few beers, and maybe wait for the DVD release cause drinking in public is illegal, you’re in for a hella-good time.
Overall Rating: RIP Ryan Dunn/10
Meltdown is the 20 minute long story of a young man pursuing his dreams as high stakes wall street investor in Liberty City. It’s also a complete clusterfuck. From the awkward self awareness to the out of place voiceover, this movie made no sense whatsoever. This should be evident by the fact that the movie ends with a monkey in a car chase. The plot was no where to be found, Milton McIlroy’s performance was flat, and the movie was obviously filmed in Los Santos with Liberty City green screened in. If Solomon Richards wasn’t having money problems before, he certainly will be now.
Overall Rating: I have to stop playing GTA 5 because I’m becoming unable to distinguish it from reality/10
First, an open letter to the people in the theatre with me: SHUT UP! NOT EVERYTHING IS THAT FUCKING FUNNY! YOUR HAIR IS WAY TOO HUGE TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! WHO THE FUCK BRINGS A BABY TO A MOVIE THEATRE?! Okay, now that I got that out of my system let’s talk about Thor. I went to see this movie purely out of obligation. It’s a marvel movie, it follows the Avengers, it sets up Avengers 2. I had to see it. But never in a million years would I have imagined that a Thor movie could be this good. Thor: The Dark World is epic. That’s the only word I can think of to describe it. It’s so much better than the first one. The world is so unique. It’s like Star Wars meets Lord of the Rings meets super-heroes. The villain is threatening, the premise is original, and the final battle was even cooler than the end of The Avengers. It was even pretty funny. I mean, there were a few groaners, but all the stuff with Chris O’Dowd was hilarious, and the banter between Loki and Thor was great. Loki’s the best part of the movie, and I think it’s because he’s not in too much of it. When I saw the trailers that was one of my biggest concerns, was that they would overuse Loki. He’s great in small doses, but he was featured so prominently in Thor and The Avengers, it was nice to see him take a back seat on this one. He plays an important role but never steals focus from Thor, and I think that’s really important. It wasn’t perfect. I mean, it’s a super hero movie. Some stuff is kind of dumb. There’s a lot of crappy CGI. But in a year of so many disappointing movies it’s great to see one shatter my expectations so thoroughly. This just made my week.
Overall Rating: The Exact Opposite Of Iron Man 3/10