The Only Good Christmas Movies

Let’s face it, most Christmas movies suck. In fact, almost all Christmas movies suck. Here’s my very short list of the ones that don’t. Please keep in mind that I’m only talking about movies, not specials or shorts, so you won’t see things like How The Grinch Stole Christmas or Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown, even though they’re totally worth watching around the holidays. I’m also only mentioning movies about Christmas, not just ones that take place at Christmas, like Die Hard, or Lethal Weapon. So here it is, my list, of the top five, best Christmas movies. (AKA the only four worth watching).

5. A Christmas Story

A classic, by every definition. A little outdated by todays standards, but the kid getting his tongue stuck to the pole makes me laugh every time. ‘Nuff said.

4. A Nightmare Before Christmas

This movie also goes on my list of good movies that Tim Burton made before he became a repetitive, self satisfying unoriginal ass-douche. The big debate around this movie is whether it’s a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie, and while I think you could watch it on either, I think the story is more centered around Christmas. Either way, I think this movie kicks ass. It’s dark, it’s weird, it’s funny. And some of the songs are pretty damn catchy.

3. Elf

Will Ferrel is hilarious. So is John Favreau. It’s everything I love about Swingers and Step Brothers rolled in to one and tied together with a whole lot of Christmas spirit. What’s not to love?

2. Gremlins

What I love about Gremlins is that it manages to perfectly walk the line between charming kids Christmas movie and gory fucked up horror movie. Plus it has that Spielberg touch.

1. Home Alone

I don’t know about you guys, but for me, Home Alone is the definitive Christmas movie. It’s so great. Every second of it makes me laugh, even after having seen it so many times. It just has that John Hughes mark of greatness. Just like the Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, I could just watch it over and over again. It might be one of the best kids movies ever made, but I would say it’s definitely the best Christmas movie ever made.

Agree with my list? Did I forget something important? Let me know in the comments section, and I’ll be sure not to give a shit about your stupid opinion.


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