Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Review

I know, I know, who gives shit, right? This movie’s like ten years old and nobody ever talks about it, and there’s not a new one coming out or anything. But I did just re watch it for the first time since I was literally seven years old, so I though I might as well review it. Now, probably the first thing that should be talked about involving this movie is the fact that it’s based on a theme park ride. I mean, how can you possibly make a movie out of a ride, let alone a movie that’s almost three hours long? Well, surprisingly, they did a pretty decent job. I mean, ok, it’s kinda retarded, (wait, can I say retarded? Ok, it was “special”), but for what it is it’s not bad. It’s a fun pirate adventure, and even though Johnny Depp kinda bugs me, it’s hard to deny Jack Sparrow’s like-ability. I also like that it’s a little scary for a kids movie. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not scary in the slightest to literally anyone over the age of like eight, but for little kids it pushes the envelope a little. When I was a kid, my favourite movies were always ones that scared me a little. Nowadays, kids movies are always so bright and happy all the way through, I think it’s turning kids into wusses. Anyway, my point is that this movie has some balls for a kids movie, and you gotta respect that. Even if the CGI zombie pirates look absolutely terrible by today’s standards. Other that that, my only real problem with this movie is that both Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom are boring as shit to watch and have no character whatsoever. I would by no stretch of the imagination call this a good movie, but for a kids movie based on an amusement park ride, it’s not bad.

Overall Rating: AAARRRGGGHH, For Pirate, Fuck You/10

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