So I guess at some point down the line Harry Potter became just another dark, Nolan-y action franchise, and I guess it’s because of that that the series had to end with two and a half hours of mind numbing action and death. And I guess for two and a half hours of mind numbing action and death, it’s pretty good. I’m just kind of upset that that’s what Harry Potter turned in to. It’s the same thing that happened with Star Trek in the new J.J. Abrams movies. Not everything is an action movie, but when Hollywood decides to make everything gritty and realistic and updated that’s the only way the seem to know how to do it. They adjust everything to be more like previous successes and eventually everything loses it’s distinguishing attributes. And so things like sci-fi, fantasy, and family adventure movies all just become homogenized into action schlock. And after this long of seeing the same thing over and over again it simply doesn’t matter to me whether it’s done well or not. So I guess you could argue that 2009’s Star Trek was actually a pretty solid action action film despite being so disrespectful to the original source material, but the fact is that no matter how good something is I don’t want to see it over and over again, especially when it’s extracted from something that used to be original. I would take variety over quality any day of the week, because at least that’s interesting. Unlike this last Harry Potter movie, which despite it’s several very well constructed action sequences, is incredibly boring to me. There’s a huge fight in the castle, Harry sacrifices himself, then there’s the whole “is he dead or not” fake-out, then there’s another big fight in the castle, and eventually Harry and Voldemort duke it out mono e mono and Voldemort dies in a big epic explosion of light. Fucking snooze. You know what would have been a way more interesting ending? If in the middle of the big battle, like halfway through the movie, a wall falls on Harry and he fucking dies, and then Ron and Hermione and goddamn Neville have to devise some sort of scheme to lure Voldemort into a nest of giant poison space wasps, and then they all sting his ass to death. And then everyone magically comes back to life and they have a giant game of Quidditch. At least that would be something I hadn’t seen before. If you really like Harry Potter and you think this movie is awesome, it’s somewhat hard to disagree. The bank robbery sequence it a lot of fun, things get pretty epic towards the end, it gives appropriate screen time to all the characters, and it wraps up all the plot lines for the whole series really well. It’s well made. It’s just not interesting.
Overall Rating: Does Not Hold Up