Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood Review

This movie starts out like every Friday the 13th movie, with a little girl accidentally killing her father with her crazy telekinetic powers. Yep! The main character in this one is a girl who was just born with all sorts of insane mental powers, because I guess it’s X-Men rules now? Anyway, we cut to several years later, when the little psychic girl is now a hot blonde teenager, because of course. She’s going up to stay with her therapist and mother in their old house by the lake, where she killed her dad. And by total coincidence, it happens to not only be the same lake, but the exact same dock where Jason was drowned at the end of the last movie. So Jason comes back to life and starts killing teenagers, because of course, and the movie basically follows standard slasher movie format, ending with a battle between Jason and lil’ Jean Grey over here. It’s a pretty sweet final fight. In this one Jason’s been like decomposing underwater for a few years, so his face is super gnarly when the mask comes off towards the end. The weirdest part of this movie is the very end; they’re fighting on the dock, and Jean Grey uses her powers to bring her dead dad back to life. He like comes up from underwater and drags Jason down with him. So I guess her powers are actually more like Essokinesis,  or the ability to warp reality, so perhaps Scarlet Witch would have been a better analogy than Jean Grey. And if Jason like can’t die or whatever, then is he just sitting at the bottom of the lake being bear-hugged by the dad after this movie ends? Other than that, it’s your standard one of these. It seems like they’re willing to throw in any conceivable ideas to shake things up, but somehow they just end up feeling more stale than ever. Man, a girl with mind powers? What’s next, is Jason gonna take a trip to some whacky tourist destination? Wouldn’t that be weird, if they sent him to like L.A. or Chicago or something?

Overall Rating: Maximoff/10


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