Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan Review

I wonder how soon after coming up with the idea to set this movie in Manhattan the filmmakers realized that it’s impossible to have a slasher movie set in a huge city full of cops and people who can help you out. Either way, they decided the solution was just to spend half the movie on a boat. The premise is that like a high school class are all taking a big cruise to New York for graduation, and Jason gets on board the boat. Along with the vaguely defined number of generic partying teenagers, there’s a stuffy old parent/chaperone guy who’s always trying to put an end to all the sex and drug-taking. (There’s a really creepy scene where he hooks up with one of the hot young teenage girls). There’s also this girl who keeps seeing visions of Jason where ever she goes. After the last movie, I thought maybe she had some kind of powers, but it turns out that she just has repressed memories of her asshole dad almost drowning her or something. I don’t know, it’s weird and vague. Anyway, after an hour or so of boobs and stabbing, the boat catches fire and sinks, with a handful of character making it out in a lifeboat. They row to New York, where Jason then comes out of the water, having swam behind their boat I guess? What’s really weird is that the second the get on land, some guys jump out and mug them. Which I guess would have been a fine moment on its’ own, but then the muggers kidnap the main girl, stick heroin into her veins, and try to rape her. Jason shows up to kill them before they anything to her, but it’s kind of an out of place scene. Anyway, so Jason chases the kids around the city for a while, killing people all along the way, until eventually the main girl and her boyf manage to electrocute (even though that brought him back to life earlier in the movie) Jason to death. And by “to death” I mean that his entire body crumbles away and there’s a chubby little 12 year old in boxer shorts underneath. Yeah, I have no idea. I guess the girl was having another hallucination? She has been seeing shit the whole movie, and she is technically still on heroin. But the guy seems to see it too. And if she is hallucinating, then what did happen to Jason? These questions are too big for one man to answer. There’s not really much more to say about this movie. It’s like all the other ones, but maybe a little stupider. The special effects kind of suck in this one, though. A lot of the kills are off-screen and when Jason’s mask comes off, he looks like if Crazy Frog had a baby with Sloth from the Goonies. I guess this movie’s not the worst one in the series, but it just seems like such a ridiculous premise to send Jason to New York City. Almost as ridiculous as sending him to hell. Or space. Ahem.

Overall Rating: I’M ON A BOAT/10

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