Friday the 13th (2009) Review

……….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand reboot. Just like Jason himself, the Friday the 13th franchise will never die, and even when it does, it always comes back. This time around they made it darker and grittier and tried to get the new generation into these movies, and it was really lame. But what really bugs me is that the filmmakers don’t even seem to understand the franchise or the character of Jason. He seems much smarter than he has in previous movies. Like, he actually comes up with elaborate and creative ways to kill the kids instead of just hacking them with a machete. And he also has this underground layer where he stashes all the kids bodies so that the cops never find then. And all the townspeople are aware of the murders he commits on a regular basis, but don’t do anything about it cause they just figure he just wants to be left alone. It almost feels like they made him more Leatherface than Jason Voorhees. I wonder why that could be? Oh, wait, maybe it’s because the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot was fairly successful, and so they decided to just do that. Yeah, go watch these movies back together, they’re like, exactly the fucking same. (Actually, don’t do that, it would be the worst five hours of your life). I wanted to get on board with this movie because it has a good tone and the simplified version of Jason’s origin story at the beginning was well done, but it’s just so agonizingly unoriginal. Everything that’s not recycled from the originals are ripped off from fucking Texas Chainsaw MassacreSay what you will about the previous movies in the series, but at least they were always original. Nobody else was sending their slasher villain to space and also the future when Jason X came out (fortunately). At least we’re spared from the ridiculously long and unnecessary origin story in the 2007 Halloween remake, and the weird pedo stuff from the 2010 Nightmare on Elm Street remake. But by no means would I call this a good horror movie. At the end of the day, it was kind of just tiring.

Overall Rating: Apparently they’re rebooting this franchise again in 2015 so I guess get ready for that shit/10


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