I was going to watch this movie, but the spine of the DVD case looks identical to that of the first one, so when I took the movie off the shelf to put into my PS3, I accidentally grabbed the first Fantastic Four movie. Which I then watched instead, because as a rule Ben Dick doesn’t try something twice. So I’m doing this review without having actually watched this movie in years. Shouldn’t be a problem, it’s basically just like the first one, right? Except this time they spend the whole time travelling around the world with the military for some reason. And Johnny has that weird thing where he can switch powers with the other three? Remember that? And the Silver Surfer’s in it, I guess. Other than that it’s exactly the same. Same corny jokes, same terrible CGI, same annoying Reid/Sue love story b-plot, same dumb fight with Dr. Doom at the end. And that’s my biggest problem with this movie. They make Doom the bad guy again. Now, I get that much like Magneto in relation to the X-Men, that Doctor Doom is the major adversary of the Fantastic Four, and so when building a film universe, it’s important to give that character a major role to play in all the sequels. But what the X-Men movies did not do was make that role exactly the same in each movie. Doom shouldn’t have been the villain again, he should have been more of a side character, like Magneto in X2, or Loki in Thor: The Dark World. Hell, after fucking up Doom so bad in the first movie they probably would have been better advised to just ditch him altogether and focus the movie on a different character. One like, oh, I don’t know, The Silver Surfer? Or Galactus?! Sure, the giant pink helmet probably would have looked dumb on screen, but a gas cloud was the best you could think of? What about some kind of giant, badass-looking energy monster or something? And then the FF and the SS have to go up against it. Yeah, that’s what this movie SHOULD have been about; Silver Surfer comes to earth, befriends the Fantastic Four, and helps them defeat Galactus. Sounds pretty fucking simple to me. Have Reed like whip of some miracle device to save them at the last second. You know, it could actually feel like the Fantastic Four are supposed to feel. Instead we get the same dumb CGI-energy-explosion-y battle against Doom that we ended the last movie with, proceeded by a directionless montage of poorly thought out action scenes inter-spliced with ridiculously stupid comic relief. I mean, the first one sucked, but at least the franchise had some potential. This one just killed the whole thing. And then pissed on it’s grave.
Overall Rating: Now They’ve Ruined TWO Of Marvel’s Coolest Villains/10