So technically this was a straight to video release, not a theatrical one, which means maybe I shouldn’t be reviewing it as part of this whole thing. Buuuut I didn’t realize that until after I watched and I’ll be damned if I just watched that fucking movie for no reason, so I’m going to talk about it regardless. So this movie starts out as a pretty faithful adaptation of Cap’s origin. It takes place in WWII, we see him get the super soldier serum, and then he fights the red skull. It’s at this point, about 20 minutes into the movie, that he ends up getting shot up in a rocket, crash lands, and is frozen in ice. The red skull makeup is actually pretty cool looking, but unfortunately when we jump to the present he’s now had major reconstructive surgery, so for most of the movie he’s just a guy with scars. The Captain America costume itself is absolutely ridiculous looking, though. It’s like rubber, but it’s super stiff, and you can tell the mask doesn’t fit the actors head properly because one of the eyehole is slightly off the whole time. The actor playing Cap, strangely enough, is the son of J.D. Salinger. He also can’t act even a little bit. The plot of the movie is mostly to do with the Red Skull and his guys kidnapping the President (played by Ronny Cox of Robocop fame) because they don’t like his strong stance against environmental issues. The end of the movie has Cap and the President team up to beat the bad guys. Pretty silly stuff. Mostly this movie is a pretty good “so bad it’s funny movie”, and I would recommend maybe checking it out with some friends and a few beers or something, but I’ll probably never watch it again. Also, Captain America steals a lot of people’s cars in this movie, which doesn’t seem very heroic.
Overall Rating: Grand theft auto/10