Wow. I really don’t even know where to start with this one. This is actually the first ever theatrically released film based on a Marvel comic. It was also produced by George Lucas, and was one of the most expensive movies ever made at the time, costing more than even Return of the Jedi. And, well, it was a pretty huge fucking flop. In fact, it’s infamous and being one of the biggest bombs ever. Let’s just call this movie the first in a series of poor decisions made by George Lucas. So the basic premise of the is that there’s an alternate dimension in which humans evolved from ducks rather than primates, and so everyone on this alternate world is like a little duck person. Howard is just an average duck who suddenly gets sucked through a portal into our world, landing in Cleveland, Ohio circa 1986. The first half of the movie plays out like a weird dramedy, with Howard adjusting to life on Earth and trying to find a job. Then about halfway through the plot suddenly kicks in, and he’s trying to stop a group of “dark overlords” from escaping a hell dimension and conquering earth via the same portal that brought Howard there. Along the way he hooks up with the mom from Back to the Future, who’s in a glam rock band, and befriends Tim Robbins with glasses. There’s also a scientist who gets possessed by a “dark overlord” and slowly turns all monstery, played by the guy who plays the principal in Ferris Beuller. So if you ever wanted to see Rooney turn into a demon, this movie has that. Or, you know, you could just go online and read about how the actor was arrested for child molestation. BOOM! Roasted. Anyway, this is one of the most nucking futs movies I’ve ever seen. It’s like one of those weird, culty low budget comicbook movies that goes straight to VHS, except on a huge budget and with a theatrical release. As batshit crazy as this movie is, there’s actually some cool stuff in it. The monster at the end is actually one of the most interesting creature designs and most well executed special effects I’ve ever seen. Seriously, google that shit. It looks like the Rancor meets The Thing meets a giant scorpion. It’s fucking awesome. The movie also doesn’t take itself too seriously, and even though a lot of the actual jokes they try to make feel dumb and forced, there is a lot of comedy that just comes out of the ridiculousness of some of the sequences. For example, there’s about a 30 minute chunk of the movie solely dedicated to Howard the Duck and Tim Robbins flying around the city on a little motorized glider being chased by the cops. I don’t know, with a lot of these crappy old Marvel movies I’ve been telling you to check them out because they’re so funny bad, but this one really is the best of the worst. Just the fact that this movie exists is so baffling. I was in disbelief the whole time I was watching. This is a phenomenon that must be seen to be believed. And if you’re still not convinced, I leave you with this; the movie has duck tits.
Overall Rating: Duck/10