Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers Review

As the title implies, we’re done with all the weird masks and robots and witchcraft, and back to the straight forward slasher formula. Coming out ten year after the original, it’s essentially the generic ripoff cash-in sequel that you would have expected to be made from Halloween. Basically Michael Meyers is back in the mental hospital after the Halloween night we see in the first two movies. His and Dr. Loomis’s return from the dead after being pretty severely exploded at the end of Halloween II is brushed over with one line, “they both almost burned to death”. Yeah, sure, whatever, I guess it’s better than the whole lightning bolt thing from Friday the 13th Part VI. And so Michael Meyers escapes, again, Dr. Loomis goes to chase him down, again, and then we see a whole bunch of murder, again. The main character this time is a little girl, who we find out is actually Jamie Lee Curtis’s character’s daughter, who’s living with a foster family after her parent died in a car crash. Kind of a shitty way to kill off your main character from the first two movies in between films, but I guess if the Terminator franchise could do it, what the hey. And don’t worry, she’ll be back in a few more sequels when they rewrite the timeline. We’ll get there a little later. Anyway, so Michael Meyers is after this girl because she’s his neice, and he has some weird obsession with killing his family members. Even ones he’s never met and realistically wouldn’t even have any way of knowing existed. The rest of the movie is basically two hours of bad 80s dialogue, annoying teenager relationship drama, and the occasional fairly standard, boring kill. I mean this movie is just so forgettable. It has none of the subtle chilling tone of the original, and none of the comical over the top kills of say, the later Friday movies. It’s not really that bad, it’s totally serviceable, it just sort of gets lost in the shuffle with every other late 80s slasher movie that’s exactly the same as this one. And btw, Michael Meyers doesn’t look write in this movie. The actors too bulky, the mask is too clean and bright, I don’t know, it’s just off. The only cool part is the very end, when they’ve finally killed Michael Meyers for good (yeah right), and the little girl is all traumatized and stuff, and then she goes nuts and stabs her sister to death in a way that mirrors Michael Meyers’s first murder from when he was a kid. It’s a pretty ballsy move to have the main kid protagonist become the murderer at the end, and it’s made even better by Donald Pleasance’s insane overacting when he shouts “NO, NO!!!” over and over again. But it’s also kind of ruined by the fact that Friday the 13th did the exact same thing four years earlier. The only real difference is that in this one it’s not the Feldog. Weird how that series started off as a generic ripoff of Halloween, and then the later Halloween sequels ended up ripping them off. Anyway, if you want to watch a bad 80s slasher there are many that are much more entertaining than this one. I’d give it a big ol’ skip.

Overall Rating: Return-ey/10

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