So we’re finally at the end of this marathon, with the one that’s still in theatres right now. Fair warning, there’s probably going to be some spoilers in this review, so if you want to go in fresh, which I recommend, stop reading about now.
So after Skyfall served as sort of an interesting, paired down character piece, this one feels more like a traditional Bond movie. It’s less about his personal journey and more about the plot, the villains and the action. Which is not to say there is no emotional core to this movie, there still are a lot of good character moments, but it’s back to more what we’re used to. The plot is pretty simple, and is basically just to do with Bond stumbling upon this organization Spectre and then spending the whole movie going after them. This version of Spectre is less like a terrorist group and more like an Illumanati type thing, with a bunch of shadowy board members deciding the fate of the world. They have a man inside MI6, a new guy called C, who’s merging all the world intelligence programs and trying to cancel the 00 program. We’re supposed to not know that he’s working with Spectre, but it’s pretty obvious the whole time. It eventually turns out that Spectre were also behind the scenes manipulating events and controlling villains in the last three movies. Basically every bad thing that we’ve seen happen to the Daniel Craig Bond was their doing. This makes sense for the first two, because all those guys were working together and they explain that Quantum was an arm of Spectre, but are you telling me Javier Bardem in Skyfall was answering to these guys? I mean, if you watch that movie he seems to be working independently. He’s got his own island, he even has that speech about getting to pick his own intelligence missions and being his own boss. And he didn’t really want money or power or to reshape the world the way Spectre does, he was just out for revenge on M for personal reasons. It seems like a bit of a stretch to say that he was manipulated by this board of evil rich people into doing what he did, yet Blofeld takes full responsibility for M’s death. Ah yeah, ok, let’s talk about Blofeld. Bond’s greatest villain is back, and better than ever. He’s played by the always awesome Christoph Waltz, who you may know from Tarantino’s last two movies and also his upcoming one. What’s annoying is that they did the whole “oh yeah, Christoph Waltz isn’t playing Blofeld” thing, and then everyone was like “ok, but he obviously is though” and then they’re like “nope, he’s not” and then you go see the movie and he says his name is Blofeld and it’s supposed to be this huge epic reveal. It’s like, if you know anything about Bond you already know he’s Blofeld, because duh, and if you don’t, then the name Blofeld has no meaning for you. So either way the reveal is pointless. It’s the exact same thing they did with Cumberbatch in that shitty Wrath of Khan remake. But yeah, Waltz is great. Obviously. He’s so much fun to watch and he’s a great rival for Bond. What’s weird is that they’ve actually tied their origins together this time. In this new version, Bond went to live with Blofeld and his dad after his parents were killed. Blofeld became super jelly of Bonds relationship with his father, and so he killed his dad and faked his own death, setting him on the path the megalomaniacal villainy. So Blofeld’s like Bonds former step brother now, I guess. Weird. Anyway, it’s great to see this character back, and I hope he’ll have a bigger part in the next one, because honestly probably this movies biggest flaw was his lack of screentime. I also like that they actually committed to the face scar and white cat, because you’d think after Dr. Evil they’d want to steer away from that. There’s some great action in this movie too, from a helicopter chase in Mexico City, to a plane chasing cars around a snowy mountain in Austria, and a climax in the old blown out MI6 headquarters in London, which this time gets even more blown up. My favourite part was probably the fist fight between Bond and Dave Bautista on the train. Yeah, Dave Bautista, he was Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy, he’s like this big henchman dude who had metal thumbnails for gouging people’s eyes out. He’s pretty cool, and the train fight is super brutal and awesome. They also give the supporting cast more to do, which is nice. M, Q, Moneypenny, even that dude Tanner who’s been hanging around for like the last 24 movies but didn’t get any actual significant amount of lines or screentime until the last one, they’re all actually involved in the goings on throughout the movie. I like the new Q, we didn’t really talk about him in the last one, but he’s good and it was nice to see him a little more this time. Oh, and they also made a whole big deal during the marketing about how Monica Bellucci was playing a Bond girl, and how she was the first one to like actually be his age, and how progressive that was. But then she’s in like ten minutes of the movie and he spends the rest of it banging a hot french model half his age. What’s weird is how bad he seems to fall for her. I mean, they really emphasis the connection between these two, and he even runs off with her at the end to (leave MI6? is the 00 program still debunked? it’s sort of vague). I don’t know, I’m not saying he should have just been like “fuck this chick” or whatever, I guess it’s nice that he’s actually emotionally invested in a relationship for once, I just don’t see what sets her apart from any other Bond girl. Overall, I don’t think this movie will stick with me quite the way Skyfall did, but it was a great fun well shot action movie that I can’t wait to see again.
Overall Rating: Weird face needle chair that doesn’t actually fuck up any of the things the dude says it’s gonna fuck up/10